Showing posts from December, 2015

That's Nuts!

Yesterday, I took the boys to get allergy tested. Little E has chronic hives. His last flare up was so bad, it looked like the measles. Big E has had two allergic reactions to two different types of nuts.  One resulted in us pulling over on the side of Peachtree Battle so he could hurl in the bushes of one of the stately mansions lining the street. Sorry rich people. I was preparing for the worst, after the flu shot bonanza, where B ig E attempted an escape , only to be tackled by a nurse before he reached his freedom. After waiting in the lobby forever, we were finally called back. Both boys were weighed, measured, and had their blood pressure taken.  Thank goodness they didn't take mine.  I'm sure it was through the roof as I was STRESSING this appointment.  I had even applied extra, EXTRA deodorant and water proof mascara. Little E snarled at the blood pressure machine. He was not buying the arm hugger description. Big E immediately began laying out his case fo

Mrs. Yoy: (Not) Defying Gravity

We are muddling through Day 4 of Big E's intense fear of ghosts and being left alone. He's totally cool all afternoon and as soon as the sun sets, he permanently attaches himself to my a**. Last night we were all piled in Big E's bed reading another great pick about being clairvoyant and the ability to levitate.  So many mundane details about monks from two hundred years ago getting reprimanded for disrupting church because they were floating all over the damn place. My eyelids were getting heavy.  My brain was no longer processing the words I was reading.  I was wearing my Sherpa robe and things were getting too warm and cozy for Mrs. Yoy. And scene. Just as we reached the chapter on gravity, I fell asleep. My grasp on the book was released, which I've done many times before, only to drop a four hundred pager on my face. This time it was a smaller book and it landed, corner first smack in the middle of Little E's lotioned up forehead. SCREAMS. SCR

Liar, Liar Pants on (Kindle) Fire

Chanukah begins at sundown on Sunday. In order to generate some Jewish buzz around here, and in an attempt to use presents as bribery for good behavior this week, I wrapped their presents and laid them out beautifully in our dining room. This year, I purchased both boys Kindle Fires.  They went on sale for $35, so I decided it was worth not constantly having my phone commandeered by Big E. My phone always returns to me sticky, which was puzzling until I witnessed Big E cleaning the screen with his tongue. Let's all take a moment to digest that. Ok, moving on. The boys have been circling their gifts since they made their appearance on the table. Big E has been acting super sketchy and I finally figured out why. That little stinker took a peak at his presents.  He has the worst liar face in the history of mankind.  It is a trait that will serve me well into his teenage years. We told him that we have a video camera set up in the room and we would pull up the foota

Faces On The Floor

Last week's public library run brought us 31 new books to explore over Thanksgiving break and beyond. Big E immediately found the non-fiction section and began pulling whole shelves of books down.  His favorite topic these days, is scary stuff. Spooky Stories, Spooky Places, Paranormal Places, etc., he's in. We got to work immediately on Spooky Places where we read about all sorts of places I would never like to visit. Then we read this. And all hell broke loose. Full disclosure, it was mostly my fault as I started making spooky noises and then screamed out in a panic that a face had appeared in the hardwoods right by the dishwasher. Big E was legit scared.  I told him I was only joking, but the damage had been done. The first night Big E made his way into our bedroom around 3 am. MOM, I'M REALLY SCARED OF THE FACES ON THE FLOOR. I felt guilty, so I let him climb into bed for the night. Over the next few days, he brought up the faces on the floor and