I like to equate my kids to bridge trolls. They will not let you pass our house without having an intimate and entirely inappropriate conversation with them.
Today a new neighbor walked by. I recognized the dog first as it plays out in their backyard, which I have a clear view of. I also know that new neighbor's wife is like 10 months pregnant. I've seen her out back sunning her swollen belly on the few nice March days we've had here in the ATL.
It began innocently with a few hellos and questions about the neighbor's dog.
WE HAVE A DOG! HER NAME IS POODLE YOY! SHE IS GREY BECAUSE SHE IS OLD! HER BREATH STINKS!
You know, the usual deets.
Then it got personal.
DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS?
New neighbor stifled a laugh.
NOT YET. (A very cryptic response in my opinion)
Big E was not phased.
It was almost in a threatening tone.
Like your life will be over very soon and you'll wonder why you ever chose to procreate.
This time new neighbor laughed out loud and walked on.
Next time he'll take the long way around the block and avoid us. Lesson learned.
Run. Just run away. Whatever these kids are selling you don't want any. Trust me.