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Showing posts from April, 2016

Big E: No Cuts

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I keep the boys' hair short.  They took not one, but two, horrible school pictures in the fall.  Even with retakes, no one bothered to run a comb through their hair. I had had it. I buzzed both of them and haven't looked back.  There is no hair brushing and their hair always looks good.  The only downside is the frequency I have to drag them to get their hair cut.  Luckily, my kids are super nerds, and the draw of the library right next door, is enough to motivate them. It's been about a month and they are both due.  I asked Big E if he wanted to get his haircut. MOM. I WANT COOL BOY HAIR. YOU KNOW, IT FALLS ACROSS YOUR HEAD LIKE THIS. I took a deep breath and quickly walked out of the room so I could panic. I'm pretty sure Big E just asked me for Georgia Hair.  My child. Thick with Florida roots wants Georgia Hair. What is this Georgia Hair, you may ask? THIS Some call it the Southern Swoop.  I call it Georgia Hair.  Mostly because I'd never se

Stockholm Syndrome

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Little E's homework assignment this week included writing an opinion piece stating his opinion of a topic and the reasoning to support it. Little E was having a little bit of writer's block, which I totally understand. I suggested writing about why red is the greatest color ever (even though we all know that isn't true). Big E, who was sitting next to Little E, suggested he write about how Big E was the greatest brother ever. I shook my head no. Because even though this is an opinion piece, this statement is blatantly false. Like all younger siblings, Little E loves his big brother, so he enthusiastically agreed to write his opinion piece about how awesome Big E. (MANY EYE ROLLS) Little E is still mastering handwriting, so let me transcribe his opinion piece. Big E is the best brother because: 1) He protects me. Tonight in the bathtub, I witnessed Big E b*tch slap Little E across the face.  He then claimed it was an accident.  I guess Big E was prote