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Showing posts from October, 2015

Mrs. Yoy: (NO) Bread Winner

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After almost seven years of bon bon eating, soap opera devouring, basically doing nothing from sunrise to sundown, I have decided to go back to work part-time.

Rest easy, IRS, I will not be putting my tax skills to use.

Instead, I have chosen to join the Weight Watchers team.  I joined WW, as a member in 2006, right after Mr. Yoy and I got married.  It was the perfect storm of leaving my 20s, being newlyweds, and just not giving any sh*ts about my food choices.

My pants snugged up real quick and I realized my metabolism wasn't able to burn through a bottle of riesling and a bag of candy corn like it did in my 20s. Willy's burritos and chips 3x/week, while very delicious, is not the model of healthy eating.

I originally joined an At Work meeting at SunTrust and dropped 20 lbs in about five months.  I looked way better than I did at my wedding.  WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS EARLIER?

I reached my goal weight, became a Lifetime member, and have religiously attended meetings wit…

NO SHOTS! - Liquor or Otherwise

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What a lovely Saturday we had today.  We awoke early and made our way to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens to checkout the Scarecrows, we ate sushi lunch with daddy, and even hit up an old-timey toy store.

The perfect day.  I left the part about swinging by their pediatrician's office to get their yearly flu shot off the daily itinerary.
But as we headed South on Peachtree Street, I had to come clean.  Well, sort of, anyway.
I told them we were going to get the Flu mist, which they had last year.  I had read that many places had run out of the mist due to a shortage.  Deep down I knew that there was a good possibility they would be getting a shot.  But I kept that dark secret to myself.  Next to the one about me, the pantry, and a bag of Skinny Pop. There was no way the Yoys would willingly walk into the building knowing the truth.
I checked them in and I could hear far off screaming.  Oh yes, they were out of the mist. But my poker face is epic and I played cool.  We got to our room …

Big E: How NOT To Get Away With Murder

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After a long day of school, homework, Transformers, dinner, and my personal favorite, zombie tag, it was finally time to get the Yoys upstairs for bath and bed.

Big E pulled out an old trick.

MOM, I'M HUNGRY.

I immediately presented Big E with steamed carrots and green beans.  He balked at my healthy suggestions.  If he was truly hungry, he'd eat anything.  But he was looking for something a little more processed and diabetes-inducing.

I took Little E and headed upstairs and told Big E he was on his own for food.

****IN HINDSIGHT THIS WAS A BIG-TIME BAD IDEA****

Big E followed us upstairs about ten minutes later.

HEY MOM!  I'M IN THE BATH!

Real casual, like everything was thumbs up.

I put the boys to bed around 8:45 and headed into my bathroom.  Being a mom is stinky and it was time for Mrs. Yoy to get herself a shower.

Mr. Yoy arrived home from work and asked about the crime scene in the kitchen.

OH, THAT'S JUST CHALK.  THEY DREW ON THE BACK PATIO AND THEN RAN SOME O…

The Yoysers: Out of Sight

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I know it is a terrible idea to compare your kids.  And I know one day the Yoysers will read their blog and I don't want them to think I favor one perfect child over the other perfect child.

***I LOVE YOU BOTH THE SAME, BUT I DEFINITELY LIKE ONE OF YOU MORE***
But for two people from the same gene pool, their looks, their personalities, and their adoration for their mother couldn't be more different.
Big E has always been a student.  This has been documented numerous times. When homework assignments began in Pre-K, Big E was in hog heaven.  And that's saying a lot for a jewish kid.
Little E would prefer to burn his homework in the fireplace and use it for warmth.  Getting him to sit down and do it is painful.
We are struggling most with his sight words.  He immediately blocks out anything with four or more letters.  Those are TOO HARD.  We dutifully go over them each night, and he stumbles on the same ones over and over again.
Sometimes, I just stand up and walk away from …

Little E: Hitting the Pole

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We have just wrapped up the first quarter of school.

Big E has started receiving homework, so yesterday I had both boys sit down to work on their assignments before the neighborhood pack of children assembled for the afternoon and any sort of productivity would evaporate.
Little E has had homework for awhile, and no matter what the task, it always ends with him on the floor sobbing WHY ME?
It's bad.
I asked Little E to start on his homework.  He sat there at the table and had the nerve to sass mouth me.  That's what we call it.  I especially like when my kids tell me to stop sass mouthing them.  It's a one-way street boys.
I told Little E to go to timeout at the bottom of the stairs.  He stared me down. I counted to three.  He continued to stare me down. Who is this person?  Where did sweet, obedient Little E go?
I walked towards the table to ESCORT Little E to timeout.  He got up and ran around the back side of the table.  He had his head turned towards me as he sprinted…