The Yoys: Walk Of Shame
I enjoy nothing more than dragging two kids and a dog up the hills of my neighborhood in 100% humidity, so of course I jumped at the boys' suggestion of walking this morning.
Poodle Yoy and I have an agreement that she is not to poop before we reach school. I hate carrying around bags of sh*t. It still smells even if you double bag it. Hold it until we are on the way home, that's my motto.
This morning, she made it about five houses. Little E started screaming because Big E had "accidentally" stepped on his shoe and it came off. I bent over to help Little E while holding Poodle Yoy's leash and two lunch pails.
I glanced over at Poodle Yoy and she was going. Dang.
We made it another six houses until our next red alert emergency.
I HAVE TO PEE! I CAN'T HOLD IT! I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW! MOOOOOOOOOOM!
Big E just wanted to pull down his pants and water our neighbor's lawn. I know his end game. I tell him there is no way he is going to use the bathroom right then and there.
We quicken our pace. And by we, I mean I begin to walk faster and Little E hangs onto the lunch pails I'm carrying and, inadvertently, creates a phenomenal resistance workout for me.
I'm sweating as we reach the top of the hill. One kid is whining about bathroom issues. One kid is whining about how tired he is. The school is mercifully within sight.
WHY DID WE DO THIS AGAIN?
I managed to get them across the one real road we encounter and safely deliver them to camp.
Next week, we drive.