Little E has developed a phobia of the dark and insists on waiting for the bus up on our front porch, which is always lit up like daytime. In summary, my kid is deathly afraid of waiting for the bus in the pre-dawn hour, but has a pretty strong relationship with all the ghosts that live in and around our home.
The bus is slated to arrive around 7:10. We headed outside around 7:05. At 7:15 I saw the bus round the corner on the far end of the street. She stopped to pick up a child.
As I turned to yell out BUS! to Little E he yelled down to me.
MOM! I HAVE TO POOP!
Of course. He's been sitting on our bench doing nothing for ten minutes. But now that we are t-minus 30 seconds until the bus pulls up, he's got a bathroom emergency.
I sprinted up hill to the house. Big E yelled for me to stay with him. Unfortunately there is only one Mrs. Yoy and no one will be sawing me in half today.
I grabbed Little E and began to run into the house. Little E tripped and fell.
MOM, YOU HURT MY KNEE.
There was no time for injuries or feelings. I launched him onto the toilet for what was the fastest BM of all time.
I picked him up and sprinted back down hill, carrying all 35 pounds of Little E, where the patient bus driver was waiting. Thankfully. I helped him up the steps and collapsed on the sidewalk for dramatic flair.