Big E: His Cheating Heart

This afternoon Big E came home with zero homework.  Which was FINE BY ME.

We decided to play a "friendly" game of monopoly.  Big E loves the hell out of some Monopoly.  He will wake up in the middle of the night and play a game by himself.  He sets up two players and plays himself.

MOM, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I LIKE TO PLAY IN MONOPOLY!

He's buttering me up and I like it. Also, I think I'm the only one gullible enough to play with him.  I have yet to beat Big E at Monopoly.  He has a strategy and he consistently applies it to crush my soul.

YOU KEEP ME FROM CHEATING.  WITHOUT YOU MOM, MY BODY JUST SAYS CHEAT, CHEAT, CHEAT.

I swallow hard.  I think my child just admitted that when he sets up his solo insomnia Monopoly games, he cheats.  Who cheats when they are playing themselves?

I'm raising a morally bankrupt human, and he has already decided his fate at the ripe old age of six. Big E is the next crooked banker who in 2065 will clean out the rich and famous of Palm Beach and Manhattan a la Bernie Madoff.

Two take-aways from today's conversation.

1) If Big E asks to invest your money in a fund with a guaranteed ROR of 50% per year, I'd strap on my Nikes and run.

2) If you ignore my advice and still invest with him, I know nothing.  Now please step out of my $10 million condo.  I've got some shopping to do.


AND FORGOT ABOUT EVEN SUGGESTING THAT HE IS CHEATING.  POUT CITY.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

March 16th. Day 1.

March 17th. Day 2.

March 20th. Day 5.