Big E: How NOT To Get Away With Murder
Big E pulled out an old trick.
MOM, I'M HUNGRY.
I immediately presented Big E with steamed carrots and green beans. He balked at my healthy suggestions. If he was truly hungry, he'd eat anything. But he was looking for something a little more processed and diabetes-inducing.
I took Little E and headed upstairs and told Big E he was on his own for food.
****IN HINDSIGHT THIS WAS A BIG-TIME BAD IDEA****
Big E followed us upstairs about ten minutes later.
HEY MOM! I'M IN THE BATH!
Real casual, like everything was thumbs up.
I put the boys to bed around 8:45 and headed into my bathroom. Being a mom is stinky and it was time for Mrs. Yoy to get herself a shower.
Mr. Yoy arrived home from work and asked about the crime scene in the kitchen.
OH, THAT'S JUST CHALK. THEY DREW ON THE BACK PATIO AND THEN RAN SOME OF THE DUST INTO THE HOUSE.
Mr. Yoy was not satisfied with my answer. When I had left the kitchen hours earlier, it was Type A clean. I told Mr. Yoy to just wipe it down quickly and it would be fine. He had his doubts...
After my shower, I put on my big girl panties and went downstairs to face the kitchen.
Um yeah, that's not chalk. No wonder Mr. Yoy thought I was crazy.
That's a $2 organic yogurt bomb. Hastily cleaned up with my decorative kitchen towels.
That little turd dropped a cup of yogurt all over the floor. And he said NOTHING to me about it when he came upstairs.
I dug deep for my CSI knowledge to examine the splatter patterns. If only I had one of those black lights, I'd catch that killer yet!
Big E managed to get yogurt in all the cracks of my double oven, the cabinet doors, and for the grand finale, he ground the yogurt into the grooves of the floor where it had dried as a sticky film.
So, that's how I found myself cleaning my kitchen for the second time tonight.