Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The Yoys: Mistaken Identity

Another week, another bullsh*t school scheduling move by Cobb County.

This week we have early dismissal every day so that the parent/teacher conferences can happen in the afternoon.

I'm not sure I need a parent teacher conference. I can already summarize it for you below:

Your kid is intelligent, but lazy as hell and has a bad habit of (picking nose/sucking thumb). You can circle the bad habit depending on if this is Big or Little E. It's like choose your own bad ending.

So now I've got seven long a** hours from when they energetically bounce off the bus and when I attempt to put them to bed.

Almost every night at dinner, I give Big E a half of a melatonin to get him to fall asleep. No melatonin means an 11PM bedtime, which makes for very painful 6AM mornings.

Last night, as I prepared dinner, I was chatting on the phone with Mr. Yoy, who has been in California since Friday, but it feels like he's been away since 1998.

Big E eats off a blue plate and Little E eats off a red plate. It's super Type-A, but it keeps them from fighting over mind numbing subjects like how many string beans are on the plate.

They both get vitamins, which I doled out properly. One for me as well, because I'm jonseing so badly for candy that even a vitamin in the shape of a gummy bear gets me pumped up..

I cut the melatonin up and put it on Big E's plate. At least I thought I did.

ONE HOUR LATER:


Right in the middle of reading Harry Potter, I looked down on the floor and saw Little E down for the count. And he was out. Snores and all. I had to dead lift him off the ground, with my bad back and it was like lifting a wet noodle.

Big E, on the other hand, folded laundry, built legos, did learning books, and watched some HGTV with me.

THAT HOUSE IS VERY MODERN, MOMMY. I DON'T LIKE IT. (Sounds like Mr. Yoy to me)

At around 10PM it dawned on me.

DID  YOU TAKE A MELATONIN AT DINNER?

At first he said yes, but then he admitted that he hadn't.

SH*T! I DRUGGED THE WRONG YOYSER!

Around 11PM, Big E finally dozed off next to me.

Tonight, I will pay better attention.



No comments:

Post a Comment