Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Scab Slide

This afternoon we had a play date at a local indoor playground/crack house for children.

I'm always skeezed out by these places because there are 10,000 little kids running around with yellow slime dripping from their noses and emphysema coughs echoing throughout.

AM I EXPOSING THE YOYSERS TO SOMETHING WE'LL BE BATTLING FOR THE NEXT 7-10 DAYS?

I try and quiet the nagging voice in my head.

I am immediately comforted when I see an employee in the toddler area with a Costco-sized container of Clorox wipes.  She has a garbage bag of plastic balls and is scrubbing each ball before she tosses them at the ball pit at the bottom of the triple slide.

This is Little E's favorite area of this place.

As he makes his way up the stairs, the employee politely explains that the slide is closed for cleaning.

She could have left it at that and I would have forever had the warm fuzzies about this place.  But she didn't.

A CHILD HAD A SCAB FALL OFF AS THEY WERE USING THE SLIDE.  BLOOD. EVERYWHERE.  SO WE ARE CLEANING EVERYTHING AS A PRECAUTION.

I'm sure I turned as white as a ghost.  Even with my spring tan.

I grabbed Little E like it was 1982 and he was a cabbage patch doll at Lionel Playworld.

He began whining.  I pleaded with him to stay far, far away from that area. Forever.

They reopened the area about an hour later.

My kids were a moth to the scab slide flame.  I couldn't keep them away.  I resigned and hoped their immune systems and the Clorox wipes did the trick.

I'm off to shower as just typing this made me feel dirty.


Get in there good boys.  Make sure you pick up every last super bug.

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