This is dedicated to Martha Stewart who makes everything kitchen related look super easy and enjoyable.
For those readers that are lucky enough to know me on a personal level, you know that I possess many talents. I'm funny. I'm a clever writer. I'm tall. I'm good at math. I shower semi-regularly.
But there is one thing that I am not known for, and it's my kitchen prowess. It's not that I don't try. But I'm always trying to make things healthy and that usually sabotages my baking efforts.
One of the two things I am able to bake without burning down the house, are corn muffins. They are a fall favorite for the boys. I usually double the recipe and then funnel those suckers down my kids' throats everytime they eek out an "I'M HUNGRY!"
By about day four of the muffins, Big E has started grumbling.
I DON'T WANT ANYMORE MUFFINS!
He's basically morphed into a giant piece of cornbread.
But like any good mother, I'm still pushing those suckers. There are on the clearance rack of my kitchen and I want them gone by the time next season's merchandise arrives.
I gave Big E one of the lingering muffins. He began his complaining but I stopped listening around MOM, I DON'T...
He bit into the muffin and dramatically chewed away at the corny goodness.
Except he started gagging.
THESE TASTE AWFUL!
I chalked it up to him being so over the corn muffins.
I SPENT HOURS AND HOURS BAKING FOR YOU AND ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT IT! CHEW THAT LAST BITE AND BE DONE.
Big E swallowed and left the table.
I went over to the remaining muffins and decided to freeze them. Maybe my kids will be ready to eat them again by Thanksgiving.
With the gallon ziplock in one hand, I lifted the tupperware top to begin the muffin move. And that's when I saw it.
MOLD. ON ALL THE MUFFINS.
I forced my kid to eat mold.
I felt awful. I just thought he was being dramatic, like the time I made him organic chicken nuggets from scratch and he complained because they weren't like the Chick-Fil-A ones. But he was being for real. They probably did taste awful. But like any good, seasoned mom, I didn't tell him. I didn't need to give him any more fuel for the therapy fire.
May it forever be known as the MOLD DOME.
Popular posts from this blog
Hi folks! A quick note from Mrs. Yoy as I know it's been awhile. For those that know me personally, you know that I've been very vocal in unsuccessfully convincing the Cobb County School board to change their COVID policies, which to this day, remain a steaming pile of sh*t. We follow zero health guidelines and figuring out the quarantine policy is akin to solving that math problem from Good Will Hunting. I will be publishing the letters I've sent to the board and Superintendent over the last 18 days of school. I've heard back from my representative, who is lovely, and my pediatric dentist who also serves on the board, but it's been crickets from the voting block of four and the Superintendent, Chris Ragsdale. Apparently, he's too busy pumping iron and self-tanning. Anyway, enjoy. HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! (E-mail sent on August 2, 2021) Good morning from East Cobb! As a long time resident, I am writing you this morning to plead with you to reconsider the mask
I have seen Mr. Yoy a total of 8 awake hours over the past week, with the majority of it coming last night when we hired a sitter and went over to the Dwood Yoysers to visit with my brand new nephew. Mr. Yoy is killing it at work. He is working crazy long hours and with NBA players now trademarking their eyebrows, I may never see Mr. Yoy again. Anyway, I'll admit it. I'm bored. And, a little lonely. I try to put the kiddos to bed at a reasonable hour, and then I have a few hours to tool around the house. I can only eat so much ice cream and watch so much Say Yes to the Dress before my brain begins melting and slowly slides out of my ears. Tonight, I spent 30 plus minutes on the phone with a stranger that was contemplating buying my bar stools I had for sale on Craigslist. We were chatting it up about how hard it was to find the right bar stools. The ones I am selling are pretty nice, solid stools. My one complaint is that they have wicker seats and if you look c
Good Morning from Quarantine-land in East Cobb. I am writing to you, as I have numerous times since the first day of school on August 2nd, to plead with you to reinstate the mask mandate in Cobb County Schools. I spent yesterday talking to my son through a bedroom door. We have been trying to limit contact between him and the rest of our family, as he received his first close contact letter on Tuesday. A COVID positive boy that sits at his table in class, MASKLESS , breathed on my son for an hour on Monday morning. Thankfully, my son was wearing his mask. We will go tomorrow to get tested for COVID. Currently, our days consist of temperature checks, CTLS checks, and a few massive meltdowns sprinkled in. As my son sobbed through the door, he relayed how stressed he was, worried about missing class while his assignments piled up. As I tried to soothe his troubled soul, I thought of you all. You did this. You own this terrible, gutless decision. My son then told me he is being teased at