The Yoys: Go Fund Me - Our February Water Bill
It has been raining pretty much nonstop since we arrived home from Florida. It's like Georgia is sending us the big middle finger because we have publicly declared Florida > Georgia in football and in life.
So why would tonight be any different? I only had to fold laundry, cook a new, Mr. Yoy requested, recipe (with more than 3 steps), and finish up our taxes and the taxes of my moocher family members (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)
My plan was to have the boys to bed by 7:15 and I was ON TIME. Even with a game of UNO thrown in there after dinner.
I drew the boys a hot bath and quickly tried to fold the remaining laundry.
MOM! MOM! MOM!
Big E seemed really concerned about something in the bathroom. I limped into the bathroom.
THE FAUCET IS TURNED OFF, BUT THE WATER WON'T STOP COMING OUT AND IT'S SCALDING HOT.
Sweet. At 7PM we have a plumbing issue. The boys are BEYOND concerned that the whole house will flood. I washed them, got them out of the tub, and asked them to get dressed in their rooms.
I then googled HOW TO FIX A LEAKY FAUCET but before I pressed play on the video, I talked myself down. Who am I kidding? I am many things, but a plumber I am not. I posted a message to my neighborhood message board about an after hours Ashton Woods number and within minutes I had a call from my neighbor with the number. Because my 'hood is awesome.
I called and spoke to a very nice gentleman regarding my plumbing issue. As he talked me through the next steps I should take, my kids noticed I was on the phone with an adult and that my tone was serious.
They interpreted this to mean they should go absolutely bat sh*t crazy.
Big E sounded the alarm. ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! This really is such a vital piece to all of your life problems. It raises your blood pressure and the stress of everyone within earshot.
EXCUSE ME, SIR? NO, THAT'S NOT OUR ALARM. THAT'S MY SON. HE CRAY CRAY.
After about ten minutes on the phone, we hung up, and I went to look for my offspring. The human alarm had run out of steam. I found them naked in the pantry clutching their tablets.
Because in crisis, all you truly need is your penis and Minecraft. Each had packed their own emergency kit, which I have included below for your entertainment.
What they did not have: food and water of any kind. I guess they figured with the river running upstairs they were all good on water.
What they did have: underwear!, pajamas, Rubik's cube, random tinker toy pieces, an eye patch, a deck of casino cards, an eraser, and the new PJ Library book about Purim.
Lord, I have failed as a mother.
As for my faucet, it was not considered an emergency, so I was told to make sure my tub stopper was open and to keep the boys away from the hot water.