I have two sons.
I have zero daughters.
I have extreme clothing jealousy. As soon as I enter any children's clothing store, I immediately veer over to the pinks and tutus and tights and leggings and sparkles and OH MY GAHD!
I glance over at the plaids and khakis and dinosaurs and tear up. But this is my lot in life. I have boys.
I do my best to dress them like little preppy WASPs heading to the country club for dinner. Classic, neutral tones rule the Yoys wardrobe. They each have one pair of shoes: New Balance sneakers. The extra wides keep us coming back time and again. And I pick out everything. The boys have shown zero opinion in what they wear, which is awesome, because sometimes I'm borderline ridiculous. See the old man sweaters.
I usually buy their shoes on Zappos, but Sunday I made an impulse decision to drop into the New Balance store by our house. This was a dangerous move because now Big E would see ALL the shoes. Not just he gray or navy ones I buy him over and over and over again.
And he fell in love with these:
Ugh. Bright blue and black? No, sir. Those go with NOTHING in your wardrobe. I tried to discreetly mouth to the sales guy that I hated those and to say they were out of his size. I even winked.
But he didn't get it.
GOOD NEWS! WE'VE GOT YOUR SIZE, LITTLE MAN!
Um, good news for whom? I wasn't winking to flirt with you! I thought we had a deal?!
Big E was elated. He put them on and began running laps around the store.
I LOVE THESE, MOMMY! CAN I HAVE THEM?
I took a deep breath. The type A, fashion police wanted to explain why he shouldn't buy these uglies. But he was so happy. And I caved, which was a really big step for me.
And then I bought myself a new pair of navy New Balance sneakers for myself, because someone was leaving this store with a pair of them!
And where was Little E while we were on our shoe shopping spree? He was standing in the corner staring at the headless mannequins.
MOMMY, WHY DID SOMEONE CHOP ALL OF THEIR HEADS OFF?