Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Big E: Shoe Shopping IS His Cardio

I have two sons.

I have zero daughters.

I have extreme clothing jealousy.  As soon as I enter any children's clothing store, I immediately veer over to the pinks and tutus and tights and leggings and sparkles and OH MY GAHD!

I glance over at the plaids and khakis and dinosaurs and tear up.  But this is my lot in life.  I have boys.

I do my best to dress them like little preppy WASPs heading to the country club for dinner.  Classic, neutral tones rule the Yoys wardrobe.  They each have one pair of shoes: New Balance sneakers.  The extra wides keep us coming back time and again.  And I pick out everything.  The boys have shown zero opinion in what they wear, which is awesome, because sometimes I'm borderline ridiculous. See the old man sweaters.

I usually buy their shoes on Zappos, but Sunday I made an impulse decision to drop into the New Balance store by our house.  This was a dangerous move because now Big E would see ALL the shoes.  Not just he gray or navy ones I buy him over and over and over again.

And he fell in love with these:


Ugh.  Bright blue and black? No, sir.  Those go with NOTHING in your wardrobe.  I tried to discreetly mouth to the sales guy that I hated those and to say they were out of his size.  I even winked.

But he didn't get it.

GOOD NEWS!  WE'VE GOT YOUR SIZE, LITTLE MAN!

Um, good news for whom? I wasn't winking to flirt with you!  I thought we had a deal?!

Big E was elated.  He put them on and began running laps around the store.

I LOVE THESE, MOMMY!  CAN I HAVE THEM?

I took a deep breath.  The type A, fashion police wanted to explain why he shouldn't buy these uglies.  But he was so happy.  And I caved, which was a really big step for me.

And then I bought myself a new pair of navy New Balance sneakers for myself, because someone was leaving this store with a pair of them!

And where was Little E while we were on our shoe shopping spree?  He was standing in the corner staring at the headless mannequins.

MOMMY, WHY DID SOMEONE CHOP ALL OF THEIR HEADS OFF?



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