On my way home from work this morning, my neighbor informed me that another neighbor was having a birthday party for their child and had rented a train and ponies.
I really couldn't visualize what this would look like until I pulled up to my home.
RED ALERT! RED ALERT! RED ALERT!
I called Mr. Yoy, who along with Uncle Yoy, had just left breakfast with Big and Little E.
DON'T COME HOME! DELAY YOUR TRIP! DRIVE AROUND 285 A FEW HUNDRED TIMES!
I informed him of the current situation.
There was a 0% chance my kids didn't end face down in our neighbor's birthday cake after hijacking a pony ride and the red train engine.
Thank goodness they were running over to Home Depot to pick up leather cleaner. This would buy me some time.
I went upstairs to make the beds and fold the endless piles of pool laundry.
As I finished with Big E's bed, I heard the garage door open. I looked out the front window to see Mr. Yoy pulling into the driveway. Just as the train cruised by our house.
I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.
I popped open Big E's window and yelled down to Mr. Yoy.
PERFECT TIMING, DADDY!
I could hear the boys flipping out.
MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! TRAIN! PONIES! I WANT TO RIDE! EVERYTHING!
It was like bringing a recovering alcoholic to a bar.
MOMMY! CAN I HAVE A PONY FOR MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?
Considering Little E has never had a birthday party (with the exception of his first), I didn't want his expectations to be too lofty.
UM. MAYBE A PONY CAKE?
The party has ended and we have escaped without the cops being called on my kids.
Popular posts from this blog
Hi folks! A quick note from Mrs. Yoy as I know it's been awhile. For those that know me personally, you know that I've been very vocal in unsuccessfully convincing the Cobb County School board to change their COVID policies, which to this day, remain a steaming pile of sh*t. We follow zero health guidelines and figuring out the quarantine policy is akin to solving that math problem from Good Will Hunting. I will be publishing the letters I've sent to the board and Superintendent over the last 18 days of school. I've heard back from my representative, who is lovely, and my pediatric dentist who also serves on the board, but it's been crickets from the voting block of four and the Superintendent, Chris Ragsdale. Apparently, he's too busy pumping iron and self-tanning. Anyway, enjoy. HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! (E-mail sent on August 2, 2021) Good morning from East Cobb! As a long time resident, I am writing you this morning to plead with you to reconsider the mask
I must say, we timed our arrival perfectly. You know how I loathe hanging out in the waiting room of the pediatrician's office. Especially during the plague season. The boys barely had time to lick the fish tank glass, when Little E was called back. Big E is all about the doctor's office when he is just an onlooker. He took the lead, I really didn't have to be there. Big E explained perfectly to Dr. K what had happened to Little E. It was like I was watching him present on his medical school rounds. For a minute, I was such a proud, Jewish mother. Dr. K had me take Little E's shirt off so she could examine him. She moved his arm around and checked his elbow and wrist. I'M NAKED! I'M NAKED! Little E repeated this until I finally translated it to Dr. K. She burst into laughter. But this how I know she is an awesome doctor. She casually asked Little E to high-five her with his left arm. He began to, but then switched and high-fived her wit
Good Morning from Quarantine-land in East Cobb. I am writing to you, as I have numerous times since the first day of school on August 2nd, to plead with you to reinstate the mask mandate in Cobb County Schools. I spent yesterday talking to my son through a bedroom door. We have been trying to limit contact between him and the rest of our family, as he received his first close contact letter on Tuesday. A COVID positive boy that sits at his table in class, MASKLESS , breathed on my son for an hour on Monday morning. Thankfully, my son was wearing his mask. We will go tomorrow to get tested for COVID. Currently, our days consist of temperature checks, CTLS checks, and a few massive meltdowns sprinkled in. As my son sobbed through the door, he relayed how stressed he was, worried about missing class while his assignments piled up. As I tried to soothe his troubled soul, I thought of you all. You did this. You own this terrible, gutless decision. My son then told me he is being teased at