Thursday, January 15, 2015

Sneakers, Sh*t, and a School Bus

The morning rush has come and gone.  For thirty minutes, I am a focused machine.  I go through the daily grind of getting the Yoys off to the bus stop.

Today, we made it to the bus stop with about thirty seconds to spare.  The Yoys are efficient, if nothing else.

As Big E boarded the bus, I noticed he had stepped in dog crap.  Fresh.  It had spread all over the bottom of his sneaker like butter on a biscuit.  A million curse words bubbled up in my throat.  Mostly because I have some bad neighbors who never pick up after their dogs.  Ever.  I have watched them out of the second floor window of my own home as their dog made on my yard.  They usually peek around in suspicion and skulk off.  It drives me bananas.

I yelled for Big E to stop moving.  I stepped closer to grab him off the bus.  But instead, I slipped in the mound of sh*t.  In my beloved Ugg boots.  If I had to rank my favorite things in life, especially in Winter, it would go: 1) Ugg Boots 2) Hot Showers 3) My Offspring.  So you can imagine, my anger escalated. It's early. It's cold. I was livid.

I started rubbing Big E's shoes through the wet grass.  It was still dark, so I was praying this was poop-free grass.

The bus driver asked me to run home to grab some paper towels, as their was poop all over the bus steps, and with the heat cranking at an ideal 75 degrees in there, the school bus was quickly becoming a hot box.

I left my Uggs outside, sorry sweet Uggs, ran inside the house, shouted out all my dirty words to anyone willing to listen, and grabbed a ton of paper towels.

The bus driver was busy trying to sweep the poop from the steps when I handed her the towels.

WHY WOULD ANYONE LEAVE DOG POOP THERE LIKE THAT?

She was dumbfounded.  I told her in PG words that I had some sh*tty neighbors.

After a ten minute delay, they were finally off.

And I went home to unleash my frustration on Mr. Yoy, my community Facebook page, and you.




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