Saturday, May 19, 2012

The Next Great Stall Tactic

Big E has introduced a new bedtime stall tactic into the mix.

MOM, I HAVE 60 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOU.

He will appear out of his room many minutes and sometimes hours after I thought he was asleep and announce our impending interview.

Tonight, Big E pulled the question card while I was tucking him in.  Thankfully, he only had ten questions for me to answer.  Ten I can handle.

MOMMY, WHY DOES THE SUN STAY OUT ALL DAY AND THE MOON ALL NIGHT?

He leads with a real brain buster.

I dig deep.  What do I remember from my Intro to Astronomy class at UF?  If only I had purchased the textbook instead of A+ Notes.

I take a calming breath and blurt out some mess about the Earth, the sun, and rotation.  Why do I feel like I'm being graded?  Like he would know the difference anyway...or would he?  Wait, am I sweating?

He seems pretty satisfied with my answer.  I give myself an A++.  It's the end of the day, I'm worn out from being in the sun, and I'm about two chips away from being in a Mexican food coma.

MOMMY, WHY DO ALL MY TOYS BREAK?

Oh, this one I have, EASILY.

Big E, all of your toys are made in China.  They have no quality control and are made with materials that are probably toxic.  But they are inexpensive, so everyone turns a blind eye.

CHINA?  OHHHH.  He says it so knowingly.  I laugh.  Little does he know they will own our entire country in about 50 years.

MOMMY, WHY DO I HAVE TO SLEEP IN A BIG BOY BED?

I explain that he is now a big boy which he, in turn, vehemently denies.

I WANT TO SLEEP IN YOUR BED.  THERE ARE MONSTERS IN HERE.

I assure him there are no monsters and he retorts that Mr. Yoy told him there were.

Thanks for THAT, Mr. Yoy.

At this point, I decide our evening's interview is O-V-E-R.

GOOD NIGHT, CARL SAGAN!  I flip the lights off and get the heck out of there.

I have less than 12 hours to study up on the general knowledge questions I will be asked in the morning.

Wish me luck!

Maybe I need to keep a copy of this tucked under Big E's mattress.  Just in case...



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