No Farting at Jason's Deli

Last night we met Mr. Yoy for a quick dinner at Jason's Deli.

We grabbed the last of the available booths and settled in for dinner.

The boys were eating and actually behaving.

Mr. Yoy and I were reviewing our days.

I repositioned myself on the booth and my hot skin against the sticky vinyl made that familiar sound.

Big E's eyes opened as wide as saucers.

DADDY!  YOU PASSED GAS!

Big E yelled out for all to hear.

There were two things that prevented this from not being the most embarrassing meal we've had with Big E in his three short years.

1)  He wasn't in possession of a microphone.

2)  Our closest food neighbors were a table or two away.

BIG E, THAT WAS MOMMY'S LEG, NOT DADDY PASSING GAS.

I tried reasoning with him.  That went well.

DADDY!  YOU PASSED GAS!

He announce it again in case anyone missed it.

I tried to make the noise again to prove it was me, but we ALL know that never ever ever works.

So we busted out the birthday cookies for a distraction. That did the job.

On a side note, we are very classy here at the Yoys and we do not call it farting.  Passing gas is way more sophisticated.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 20th. Day 65.

Image
Day 65. I first want to say Happy Birthday to my best friend who would have been 44 today. I found a funny email exchange we had with each other back when we both first had our babies and had zero clue as to what we were doing.   DOES THIS THING COME WITH AN OWNER'S MANUAL? The buildup has been immense, but this was the actual last day of school here in Cobb. Big E had his final Zoom call with his class. His teacher put together a video of them with baby pictures mixed in with their current pictures and I stood over Big E's shoulder and watched and silently cried.  I left to grab a tissue and returned to watch the whole 5th grade video with photos of them starting as babies in Kindergarten and now as 5th graders. Again, I stood over Big E's shoulder and silently cried. He turned to look at me. I tried to play it cool. YOU CAN LEAVE NOW. Normally that would have hurt my feelings, but I'm so raw from everything, that I just numbly walked away to clean up
Read more

March 16th. Day 1.

Image
I bet you didn't expect to hear from me... At 8:45AM this morning, I had a very worried child wake me up. He was ultra concerned that we were not yet up.  How were we going to stick to the schedule I had printed out? The schedule I printed out in attempt to convince myself that this homeschooling/quarantine would not be the dumpster fire, that deep down, I knew it would be. I don't normally sleep this late, I promise. But Mr. Yoy and I were up extra late last night, finishing off the Hunters. I fell asleep around 2AM. I checked my phone and I had a very special message from a very special lady requesting I resuscitate the Mrs. Yoy blog, at least for the time that we are locked in, as she needed some laughs. So here I am. It's a little after 6:30PM. No one in my house has died and I feel like I need some praise and validation. The morning wasn't so zen. 9AM was P.E. time per Little E and his militant schedule, so we went out for a walk/bike ride. We came back
Read more

May 19th. Day 64.

Image
Day 64. Things have been spooky quiet around here. Mr. Yoy drove Little E to Orlando on Saturday to spend some quality time with his Grandpop. Big E went along for the drive. Do you know what this meant, folks? I HAD 36 HOURS ALONE IN MY HOUSE. I REPEAT. ALONE. IN. MY. HOUSE. It took this break for me to finally feel how tightly wound I've been. The stress, slowly seeping into my bones, my soul over the past eight (nine?) weeks briefly left my body. I took a bath. I went for a long walk with a friend. I had a driveway hang with some friends from my Israel trip. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted. I read UNTAMED by Glennon. I slept. Really slept. I thanked Mr. Yoy for giving me this gift. Because it was such a gift. Mr. Yoy and Big E arrived back on Sunday night. Halfway through their drive, they found a golden doodle breeder and tried to convince me that this was what our family needed. I took a look at our blind, deaf, toothless poodle and knew that a puppy would be the ki
Read more