Sunday, September 15, 2013

Pull Ups: The Ultimate Gateway Drug

Both my kids are toilet trained.

In the past, I needed to asterisk the above sentence.

The Yoys had a deep, dark secret that we share with many other families.

After using the toilet all day, we slide our kids into pull ups at night as the ultimate uninterrupted sleep insurance policy.

Any sort of bathroom accident is messy, but in the bed at 3AM with all seven of your stuffed animals is plain Armageddon.  I wasn't ready to dispose of our safety net, and neither was Big E.

Let's just air it all out here.  Pull ups are code for diapers.  Because that is what they are.  They just fasten differently.  They are a crutch.

You may innocently start your child in them for insurance purposes, but like any gateway drug, it quickly escalates to cocaine, I mean, urine-ville every morning.

With Little E, I noticed his pull up was always dry come morning.  With that nugget of truth, I altered my parenting trajectory.  I wasn't going to fall into the pull up trap with child number two.

We blew through our final Costco sized box of pull ups.  Gulp.  I was really going to do this.  It had to be done.  Big E will be five in November.  Enough was enough.

I purchased waterproof mattress covers for the Yoysers' beds.  I am a realist, if nothing else.  I expect there to be accidents, but I'm hoping it happens when I'm on vacation and someone else is watching them.

We've made it to night three of Operation Eliminate All Diaper-Like Products From Our Home.  Little E has made the transition more smoothly than his hooked older brother.  Detox is such a b*tch.

MOM, TOMORROW WHEN YOU GO TO PUBLIX, MAKE SURE YOU BUY US PULL UPS.

Usually these requests are reserved for such goodies as ice cream or Mentos.

But everyone has been dry in the morning and with each passing night I feel increasingly confident that we WILL end the cycle of addiction.

Everyone has fun peeing in their pants.  Just look at this little boy.  


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