Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Big E: Weight Watchers Newest Meeting Leader

Today, I ventured out with the Yoys for the first time in 48 hours.  I had forgotten what sunlight and fresh air felt like on my dried out, dusty winter skin.

We hit up my Weight Watchers meeting to get a reinforcement of how I should eat on Thanksgiving.  Lifting up the buffet table and sliding everything into my unhinged jaws is not highly recommended.

I laid down the ground rules for the Yoys.  No talking.  They each brought books to keep them occupied and quiet.

IN ORDER TO AVOID OVEREATING, WHAT IS A GOOD SNACK TO PACK?

Many of the members chimed in with their snack ideas.

I looked over and Big E had his hand anxiously waving in the air.  He was begging to be called on.

WHEN I GO TO THE PLAYGROUND, I PACK RAISINS AND A STRING CHEESE AND KEEP IT IN MY POCKET SO I DON'T HAVE TO RUN ALL THE WAY BACK TO MY MOMMY TO GET MY FOOD.

Applause all around for Big E's genius idea.  Which I came up with, by the way.

He looked over at me and winked.

I burst out laughing.

WHAT TIMES ARE YOU MOST SUSCEPTIBLE TO SNACKING?

Oh no, he's at it again.

WHEN I COME HOME FROM SCHOOL I LIKE TO HAVE A NICE AFTERNOON SNACK.

Again, applause all around.  I'm not buying it.  This is a class about not over snacking and snacking wisely.  Big E weights 39 pounds soaking weight.  There's no need to rub in his amazing metabolism and rock hard abs.  Braggart.

WHAT COULD YOU DO WHILE WATCHING TV INSTEAD OF MINDLESS SNACKING?

Please, lord, don't let my son raise his hand.  Oh, but he did.

YOU COULD JUST SIT AND ENJOY YOUR SHOW.

So much applause.  What in the hell?  Of course I could just sit and enjoy my show, but I could enjoy my show exponentially more with my face in a tub of hummus.

Finally, the thirty minutes was up.  My kid had participated the most out of every member in there.  One lady came up to us to tell me how smart she thought the Yoys were.

THANKS, THEY ARE SOMETHING.

It was all I could muster.


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