I'm not saying that I want to enter the arena of competitive eating, I'm just saying that I could and possibly win.
I love a good meal. I love savoring the taste of good food and really enjoying it. With the exception of a handful of meals that I have eaten without my children within a ten foot radius, I haven't really enjoyed a meal in the two plus years it has been since I've entered motherhood.
These are a list of things that interrupt my meals on a daily basis:
3) Flying food
6) Coherent requests
7) Incoherent requests
8) Wardrobe changes
I have two choices at this point. Never eat again. For dieting purposes, this would be the better choice. I'd be back in my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans and loving life. For functioning purposes, I would be one mean Mrs. Yoy.
My second choice is what I like to call inhalation. This is a crucial part of my current game plan. I know I have about three minutes total to eat my meal. And I get it done. Mrs. Yoy NEEDS to eat. I basically shovel everything down as fast as humanly possible. Taste has become secondary at this point.
I watch Kobayashi housing hot dogs on TV and think he has nothing on a mom trying to squeeze in a meal before she has to feed, bathe, and dress two babies in about an hour.
Plus, I don't need to soak my food in water before I eat it.