Mrs. Yoy vs Kobayashi

I'm not saying that I want to enter the arena of competitive eating, I'm just saying that I could and possibly win.

I love a good meal.  I love savoring the taste of good food and really enjoying it.  With the exception of a handful of meals that I have eaten without my children within a ten foot radius, I haven't really enjoyed a meal in the two plus years it has been since I've entered motherhood.

These are a list of things that interrupt my meals on a daily basis:

1) Vomit
2) Poop
3) Flying food
4) Crying
5) Spills
6) Coherent requests
7) Incoherent requests
8) Wardrobe changes

I have two choices at this point.  Never eat again.  For dieting purposes, this would be the better choice.  I'd  be back in my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans and loving life.  For functioning purposes, I would be one mean Mrs. Yoy.

My second choice is what I like to call inhalation.  This is a crucial part of my current game plan.  I know I have about three minutes total to eat my meal.  And I get it done.  Mrs. Yoy NEEDS to eat.  I basically shovel everything down as fast as humanly possible.  Taste has become secondary at this point.

I watch Kobayashi housing hot dogs on TV and think he has nothing on a mom trying to squeeze in a meal before she has to feed, bathe, and dress two babies in about an hour.

Plus, I don't need to soak my food in water before I eat it.


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