Mrs. Yoy: I'd Like To Thank The Academy
I abandoned Clifford about 3/4 of the way through because I was getting seasick on Big E's bed.
I grabbed Little E first and tossed him into his crib. He's easy. He can't climb out. He goes right to sleep. Tonight, he is my favorite son.
I tuck Big E in. I can tell from his tossing and turning he is not ready to sleep. But I so am.
I close his door and sit down at my desk. I hear his feet hit the floor and about thirty seconds later he opens his door.
Always strategizing, I pick up my phone and dramatically act out a fake phone call to my mom. I realize how lame this is, but I'm desperate.
YES, MOM, I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD FLY UP TOMORROW BECAUSE BIG E WON'T GO TO BED.
AND I'M CANCELING HIS BIRTHDAY.
AND I'M CANCELING EVERY OTHER FUN THING HE MAY EVER DO IN HIS LIFETIME.
AND ALSO CHRISTMAS.
OK, BYE MOM.
Big E is very alarmed by my faux telephone call. He runs over to me and hands me his mattress tag, which he felt the need to rip off after I had tucked him in, and runs back to his bed.
TUCK ME IN! TUCK ME IN!
He begged to go to sleep.
Now that's what I'm talking about.
Winner of tonight's round goes to Mrs. Yoy!