The Ghost of Grocery Shopping Future
I did not have to stop by the bakery. I did not have to run past the candy aisle. I did not have to take an emergency bathroom break.
It was EPIC.
As I leisurely strolled the candy aisle (just eating with my eyes, I swear), I watched two brothers, approximate ages of 9 and 7, bickering about which size marshmallows to buy. After a few quips back and forth, the boys took their argument up a notch to the supreme court of sibling arguments, their mom.
As I swung up the next aisle, the boys closed in on their mom, who was studying jars of pasta sauce.
MOM! SO AND SO SAID THIS!
NO MOM! SO AND SO DID THIS! IT'S NOT FAIR!
And on and on.
She sucked in a deep breath and looked up. We locked eyes. I could see the frustration over what is probably a lifelong bickering match between these boys. I smiled faintly at her.
For a second, I wanted to abandon my shopping cart and hug her.
I also wanted to whisper to her kids to cut the crap or they were likely to get a jar of Prego to the head.
This is my future.
The bickering hasn't really begun, as half of what Little E says is incomprehensible. But it will happen. And my ears will cry tears for the hours upon hours of this sh*t I will be subjected to.