There is no need to go into detail regarding the madness that I witnessed at the Gardens mall.
I would like to give a shout out to the age inappropriate lady carrying her Maltese in a Louis Vuitton dog carrier/purse. Very Paris Hilton and she almost pulled it off.
Anyway, as we were escaping, I mean leaving, Saks, we encountered one of my favorite types of South Floridians.
I will affectionately call her by her scientific name.
ONE TOO MANY TRIPS TO THE PLASTIC SURGEON.
As my mom and I tried navigating the Saks doors, her holding the door with one hand and grasping Big E's hand with the other, me trying to steer our cheap umbrella stroller holding Little E through the door, I heard this loud, obnoxious cell phone lady and she was hot on my heels.
She was detailing out her upcoming facelift and what sorts of meds she would be on post-op.
Because she was holding the phone, she did not offer to help me make my way through the door, in fact, as I tried to hold the door open as I pushed Little E through, she went through, too.
LIKE I WAS HOLDING THE DOOR FOR HER. AND SHE DID NOT SAY THANK YOU.
As she hopped into her Lexus waiting out front for her, my mom and I shot each other looks of disbelief.
And then my mom graciously wished her good luck on her surgery.
I HOPE YOUR NOSE FALLS OFF THIS TIME.
God, I love my mom.
This lady was dangerously close to becoming the catwoman.