The Longest Five Minutes of My Life
1) mildly interested as he is clearly musical
2) drowned out by the keyboard, drums, and vocals
The alternative service was set up in a portable event tent in the parking of lot of our synagogue. This is important to note because it became an enabler for distractions.
We arrive at the Amidah prayer. I can't exactly recall what this translates into English, but I loosely translate it to mean the longest five minutes of my life. It is a silent prayer where everyone stands and reads over a pages long prayer.
So now I'm multitasking. I'm saying concurrent prayers, The Amidah and the Please-Big-E-Be-Quiet-Prayer.
Up to this point, Big E had been pretty well behaved for his first service. The silence of the room stirred up something in the depths of his being. He started chatting away. And it was booming loud, mostly because the tent was so quiet. I start sshhhh sshhhh sshhhhing him.
Q: What are you doing? A: Praying
Q: What was that? A: Wind
Q: What's that noise? A: Helicopter (at least it sounded like one)
Mr. Yoy made the executive decision to take Big E out of the service to let everyone around us finish their silent prayer and meditation in peace.
They were gone for a few minutes, but not long enough. We had moved on to another quiet part of the service.
Big E maneuvers his way back to his seat where he proudly announces there was an accident.
I looked at Mr. Yoy and he nodded his head.
An accident! There was an accident!
Over and over again he repeated this. People around us started to take notice. Mr. Yoy and I decided it was time to abandon our efforts.
Once we were in the parking lot, I saw what Big E was talking about. A woman needed medical attention and was laying down in the parking lot.
SHE FELL! THE LITTLE GIRL FELL!
We hurried Big E along, so he would stop reporting the news for everyone to hear.
This concludes Big E's first High Holidays experience.
If I had to rank his behavior with one being the worst and ten being amazing, I'd give Big E a seven. He did pretty well in the service and we couldn't help that there was a medical emergency that excited him.
Two follow up points:
1) The woman was fine, so that was good news.
2) If you are ever going to have a medical emergency in public, a synagogue is the place to be. They asked if anyone was a doctor and like 37 people came running up.
I'd like to wish a happy and healthy New Year to all my observing readers, friends, and family!