Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Batting .000

I received my first holiday card in the mail today.

I love getting holiday cards (hint, hint to all that are thinking of sending one to the Yoys).

We have never sent one out in the past, but I've been feeling the pressure to conform.

I was motivated enough this afternoon to dress the Yoys up all matchy-matchy (my favorite!) and attempt a photo session in Little E's bedroom.

I literally said these words to Big E:

IF YOU SMILE FOR THE CAMERA I WILL GIVE YOU CANDY, CAKE, MONEY, AND THE UNOPENED TRAIN TABLE IN THE DINING ROOM!

My kids are what I like to call non-cooperating participants when it comes to picture time.

I took 126 pictures this afternoon over a period of about 10 minutes.

I also took about 12 years off my life.

I didn't get one usable picture.  I swear.  I'm going to go back over them later, but I glanced at them earlier and wanted to cry.

Big E kissed, smothered, bit, and kicked Little E in the oversized chair in Little E's room.

Meanwhile, I was making exotic noises trying to get them to 1) look at me and 2) crack a smile.

Anyone looking in from the street would have seen/heard the ruckus and most likely called child protective services. It was insanity at its best.

My throat is sore this evening from screaming, howling, growling, and other unfazing sound effects.

I have to stop and wonder, how can these evil beings belong to me?
 We'd wish you Happy Holidays, but we are too busy reading our books!

Happy New Year from our asses!

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