Sunday, November 27, 2011

Privacy. What's that?

I am a modest person.  As a child during P.E. class, I mastered the "changing your clothes without showing an inch of skin" move.  I was amazing at it.

When I became pregnant with Big E, I did not realize that my modesty would soon fly out the window.

Fast forward to Piedmont Hospital. Big E was almost a month early, so Dr. Yoy decided to have a special team of nurses in the room when I delivered.  When she mentioned this initially, I thought it sounded like a fantastic idea.

So there I am, delivering a baby.  I'm not going to go into too much detail, but you are definitely in a compromising position.  In walks the preemie team, all seven of them.

For an instant I was embarrassed.  I wanted them to leave.  But it was weird, my modesty took a back seat to Big E's well being.  So what, now there were ten people in the room just staring at my parts.

It definitely didn't end there.  Post delivery all sorts of nurses, doctors, etc. are rummaging around your body.  I accepted my fate.

What I didn't realize at the time, was this was preparing me for having company 24/7 for the rest of my life (at least it seems that way).

I have not gone to the bathroom or taken a shower alone in three years.

Last night, Mr. Yoy was watching our sorry, sorry football team play.  He asked Big E if he wanted to join him.

NOPE!

Instead, he came with me to the bathroom where he proceeded to offer help, suggestions, and narration.

YOU NEED TOILET PAPER?

YOU NEED THE LIGHT?

YOU MAKE DIRTS?

Ugh, please, please, please.  Go watch football with Mr. Yoy.

I then made my way to the shower.  I needed to wash away the grime that comes with caring for two boys.

Why don't you go and watch football with daddy?

NOPE!

Instead, he stood at the shower door, pressed his face into the glass, and chatted my ear off.

IS THAT YOUR WASH RAG?

IS THAT YOUR SOAP?

ARE YOU CLEAN?

WHAT'S THAT? (none of your business)

I can't even remember what it is like to be by myself. And why am I always being interviewed?

Please tell me I'm not the only mom that feels this way.
It may not be Big Brother, but it is definitely one of the Yoys.

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