Their bathroom is set up, so that I sit on the closed toilet while I wash them. As I sat on my throne and watched the boys play (nicely, I may add), I had the need to blow my nose.
I reached back and unrolled some toilet paper, ripped it off, and blew my nose all without taking my eyes off the boys.
When I was finished, I noticed the toilet paper had brown, crusty spots. I held one end of the toilet paper and let it unfold.
Then I gagged.
Those spots weren't from me. They were dried poop.
Big E must have implemented some top secret bullsh*t save the planet platform and decided to reuse toilet paper. He rolled it out, used it, and then rolled it back.
Little boys are rank.
Excuse me while I go cleanse my face with bleach.