Friday, February 22, 2013

Mrs. Yoy: Sh*tfaced


After school today, I threw the Yoys into the tub to wash off their preschool funk.

Their bathroom is set up, so that I sit on the closed toilet while I wash them.  As I sat on my throne and watched the boys play (nicely, I may add), I had the need to blow my nose.

I reached back and unrolled some toilet paper, ripped it off, and blew my nose all without taking my eyes off the boys.

When I was finished, I noticed the toilet paper had brown, crusty spots.  I held one end of the toilet paper and let it unfold.

Then I gagged.

Those spots weren't from me.  They were dried poop.

Big E must have implemented some top secret bullsh*t save the planet platform and decided to reuse toilet paper.  He rolled it out, used it, and then rolled it back.

Little boys are rank.

Excuse me while I go cleanse my face with bleach.

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