The Human Snooze Button
I roll over and look at the clock.
Not my most favorite time to wake-up, but given Big E was sleeping by 7 last night, I can't fault him for having to go to the bathroom.
I drag myself out of bed and walk him to the bathroom.
He does his business and then I tell him that it is still the middle of the night (slight exaggeration) and that Mommy is going to back to sleep. He is welcome to go back to sleep or to play quietly in his room.
Shockingly, he opts to stay up and play. I turn on his bedroom light and close his door.
I make my way back to my nice, warm bed. I'm hoping to get another hour of quietness. I doze in and out of sleep. I'm half listening for Big E.
MOMMY, MY CRAYON IS BROKEN!
MOMMY, THERE IS A DOG UNDER MY BED!
MOMMY, I NEED NEW PAPER!
MOMMY, I'M HUNGRY.
MOMMY, THE STOCK MARKET FUTURES ARE DOWN (I made this up, I just figured if he was going to be reporting news, it may as well be useful).
Like clockwork, Big E made an appearance in our bedroom about every ten minutes to announce some breaking news.
I look up at the clock.
I'm so tired. Why do I feel so hungover? I'm not ready for this day to begin.
Mr. Yoy tells Big E to head downstairs and get something to eat.
We hear him make his way down to the pantry. The door opens. The door slams shut. Once. Twice. Three times. What in the hell is he doing?
I hear him approaching our bedroom. Mr. Yoy called it correctly. Big E brought up an entire package of applesauce.
He laid it in the bed and then went back downstairs for a spoon.
This kid is such a trip.
He was about 1/3 of his way into his first container of applesauce before he spilled it all over the bedroom carpet.
I looked at the clock again.
Mrs. Yoy reporting for duty.