Sunday, January 29, 2012

A Useless Mrs. Yoy

BIG E, YOU BETTER STOP (insert undesirable behavior here)!

I'M GOING TO COUNT TO THREE AND THEN YOU ARE ON A ONE-WAY TRIP TO TIMEOUT!

I yell this in my big, booming, scary mommy voice multiple times a day.  I have made good on my promise enough times that Big E usually stops in his tracks and pulls it together.

When did I turn into my mom, by the way?

This morning, when I awoke to my Big E alarm clock, I discovered that my raspy voice last night had developed into full blown hoarseness.

I was barely audible.

I had lost my biggest weapon in the discipline war on my kids.  

My big, booming, scary mommy voice.  I was rendered useless.

All morning, I've tried to persuade Big E to stop assaulting Little E.

Either Big E can't hear me or his isn't scared of my new, wimpy, whispering voice.

It's going to be a long day here at the Yoys.

Too bad Big E can't read.  I could grab a note pad and write him threatening notes all day.  I guess it wouldn't have the same effect.

Or maybe I could get a Stephan Hawking program and type disciplinarian phrases into my computer and let the Mac Book do the dirty work.

STOP BOTHERING YOUR BROTHER! (in the best computer voice you can imagine)

For now, I'm going to drink buttloads of tea with honey, think of creative, non-verbal ways I can communicate with my babies, and hope my voice returns ASAP.
In an unrelated note, Mr. Yoy seems to be in a good mood today.

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