Monday, January 9, 2012

Short Guy, Tall Tale

This afternoon I took Big E to his pediatrician for his three year check-up.

This is a place I loathe entering during the winter months.

It is an incubator for some of the nastiest stuff I've ever seen/heard.  If it were socially acceptable to put my children in hazmat suits for the occasion, I would.

I'm not saying my kids aren't ever nasty ill, because they are.  It is just exponentially worse when it is some stranger's nasty ill kid coughing in your face.

We had the first appointment after lunch, so the waiting room was deserted.  I felt pretty good about that, although I could almost see the virus and cold germs crawling over everything I touched.

MUST. WASH. HANDS.

Big E was parked in front of the fish tank.  He was counting the fish and rattling off the colors and acting like an overall smarty pants.  Now would be a GREAT time for the waiting room to be full of people so they could all see how intelligent my kid was.

In walks a sweet little girl with her mom.  She is a little younger than Big E.  Her mom pulls a chair over to the tank so she can stand eye to eye with the fish.

Big E now has an audience.  He can't contain himself.

THESE FISHES WILL BITE YOU!

My eyes about popped out of my head.

The little girl glanced uneasily back at her mom.

THESE FISHES WILL BITE YOU!

What in the hell is he talking about?

I calmly explain to both kids that these fish do not bite people.

I check my watch.  Please call us back before Big E makes another ridiculous declaration.

THESE FISHES WILL BITE YOU!

Seriously.  Call us back.  Now.  Before we scar this sweet little girl and she never wants to go to the Georgia Aquarium again.
What Big E thought he saw swimming in the tank at the doctor's office.
What Big E actually saw swimming in the tank at the doctor's office.

2 comments:

  1. I almost cried I was laughing so hard at this one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The worst part is, we are going back in two weeks for Little E's 18 month appt. There will be a whole new audience of little kids for Big E to scare.

    ReplyDelete