Last night, I was at a karaoke party.
I was chatting up one of the guys there and he whispered if congratulations were in order and pointed to my belly area.
I was mortified.
WHAT? OH NO, NO, NO.
Poor guy. He was equally mortified. He quickly explained that the hostess had told him one of her pregnant friends was coming over. I guess he thought I was her.
In his defense, the dress I was wearing had an empire waist with a full volume skirt. I guess it could be mistaken for maternity-esqe.
Also, I have a permanent pooch now where my pregnancies have stretched out my stomach/skin so that I'll never have a flat tummy again, without any surgical help, that is. (Thanks Yoys!)
Plus, after fasting all day for the Kip, I had just eaten ten pounds of bagels, egg salad, and cookies. I could be having a Yom Kippur baby, I guess.
How do I make this situation better?
I blurted out:
I JUST HAD A BABY!
What am I saying? Little E just turned 14 months old. My grace period is O-V-E-R.
Maybe I'm just getting straight up fat. Ugh.
I'm never wearing that dumb dress again.
I guess it could be worse. People could be writing articles about my fat days.